I need to write.
I need to sleep.
I need to do something.
I need to get away.
I need to stop thinking.
I need to stop crying.

But I can't stop thinking about it. Why do I let the stupidest things get to me? And not just get to me, but REALLY get to me, in a weird, paranoia, obsessive kind of way. I can't help it. No matter if I'm right or wrong, I will always come crawling back. I can't take someone being mad at me. I can't not knowing if someone is mad at me. I can't stand unresolved conflict.

I need someone to come pick my brain and tell me why the hell i am the way i am. I mean, I think I know why... All the men in my life suck. Well the important ones anyways. I never had grandfathers. My dad is a worthless excuse of a father, who is never around and blames everything on everyone else. He is so nice to everyone but the people he supposedly loves. He's not there for me. And the first boy I ever loved just up and left me, after over a year. Not even a goodbye.

And what the hell am I doing now? WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING NOW!? *beats self over head with brick*

I push them away only to come crying back because I assume that they will go away on their own eventually.

Please God, answer my prayers.